"Ba-na-nas!" A Vintage Shame Spiral

Obsession only begins to describe my devotion to vintage. Besotted is probably a better adjective. For me, it’s the smell of history inside a curious shop, the feel of decades past, that someone’s discarded, once beloved dress is someone else’s newfound treasure. Any true, hardcore fashionistah can understand this passionate response. I can really relate to Rachel Zoe in her reality show, gasping “I die. Ba-na-nas!!” upon pulling out YSL’s from the jam packed rack. It’s Reality Tuttle, the 90’s partygirl heroine in the book ‘Fabulous Nobodies’ forgoing rent so she can buy a vintage outfit to go with her fake eyelashes.

My heart always races a few beats faster when everything is ‘stupid cute’ (so cute, it’s stupid) and I can’t focus because I’m overwhelmed by the glitter, the pops of colour and the rolling racks of potential. I call this euphoric physical response the Vintage Shame Spiral. A Vintage Crawl is when you shop vintage stores consecutively for a few hours (similar to a pub crawl without the beer). Truth be told, I need a hit once a month. Let’s start from the beginning of the love affair. Flash to Grade 8, Mr. H’s Math Class. I would rush through my multiplication and division to pour over back issues of Vogue. My best friends and I would spend our weekends visiting Kensington Market and Queen West vintage stores for jeans, suede minis and leather jackets. We would go to The Vintage Clothing Show and return with bags of clothing ready for deconstruction and transformation. Back then, it was less glamour, more grunge. Wearing vintage was a very Sassy thing to do. But us teens were ahead of our time and were often mocked for being fashion avant-garde at fourteen. Upon being ridiculed, I would say, “You make fun of me now but you’ll be wearing this in two years.” Oh snap!

Vintage can be overwhelming for the uninitiated. I always provide newbies with a few supportive grains of wisdom.

• Do you have a girlfriend blessed with impeccable taste and a knack for pulling together looks? Ask her to be your personal stylist for the day. Creating individual style is a special talent. I’m sure she would more than happy to share her gift. If not, ask yourself, “Is she really my friend?”

• Have a few decades or 1-2 styles in mind that suit your personality and style. Look at magazines and check the fashion blogs for inspiration. It can be frustrating without some direction because you can end up trying on many items with little success (leading to frustration, perhaps depression). Are you going for an updated Laura Ingalls country prairie girl look? Would you do the 50’s Stepford Wife? Does a drop waist flatter you or should you stay far away? A prepared vintage shopper is the one that scores all the great finds because she knows what she wants and finds it.

• Look beyond an item’s hanger appeal. A pretty colour or interesting style may come to life once tried on. Since items are unique, it’s important to make sure things fit properly and look good on. You can make minor alterations to fit your proportions and size. If you think something would look more modern shorter, simply cut and hem. Presto! Change-o!

• Belt it! One of my all-time favourite accessories accentuates the waist and flatters garments without shape. Some outfits improve by 25% when belted. Two styles which I find quite versatile are a braided leather belt in a caramel brown or the elastic cinch belts from the 70’s with distinctive buckles.

• When in doubt, accessorize. There is a plethora of beautiful accessories to suit your fancy. Delicate silk scarves, crystal brooches and vibrant leather clutches. My friend and fellow vintage connoisseur, A loves to exclaim, “Ooh, this is sooo French Vogue” when she comes across a trinket which can only be described as having that Parisian je ne sais quoi.

• Have fun! Look around and you’re shopping in Eric Foreman’s basement. The décor and feel of these places evokes sentimental memories of growing up. Think of the store as your personal tickle trunk. Try on the Mama Cass, Peruvian, rainbow caftan just for kicks and giggles. Vintage shop owners generally have a quirky sense of humour. Some try to sell you with their funny hangtags: “This dress is pure sex.” It’s more comedy than Yuk Yuk’s on a Saturday night.

The best thing about vintage is that you are wearing something unique and special, giving new life to a piece that was once loved. Rarely have I worn a vintage piece without being showered with compliments. Now go vintage shop with an open heart and an open mind and the fashion gods will look down favourably upon you.